I've gotten shallow and selfish in my introspection, which may be worse than no introspection at all. I miss important things. I obsess over trivial things. Constantly looking at and analyzing my own fear has, instead of diminishing its power, made it stronger. Fear is an overwhelming enemy when you see it lurking around every corner of your mind, every bit of your incentive.
Instead of learning the root of what I want/need, developing sensibility I've become more easily seduced by my emotions and physical senses.
How did this happen??? How and why is that we are made so that our own bodies and minds betray us?
My memory is untrustworthy. My emotions exaggerate reality. "Who I am" is almost irrelevant because the tools we have to know ourselves can come unbalanced so easily. I can be a certain way, but there is such a limit to how much of who I am I can actually know; and even then, "who I am" is a fluid state, constantly fluctuating to some degree.
How do I know who I am, who I want to be, who it's possible for me to be, and who I don't want to be?
We make choices sometimes we don't think will affect as as intensely as they do, and they change us either in actually changing who we are or who we think we might be. It depends on the choice we make in dealing with the choice we've already made: I guess it's the choice of dealing with the choice that makes us who we are.
