Facebook Post #1

Ive decided I need to start archiving favorite Facebook posts both from other people and my own.

Poem:

A capella, young fella, I'll tell ya is the best sound evah, on the mic like the bank tella, tell me I'm clevah, and stellah, like stars in the sky and I'm yours forevah.

Pet Names (warning: this is a total rant)

What's up with the pet names, guys? I'm not your baby. I'm not your darling. Believe me, you would know it if I were.

But oh wait, your ego has grown like a tumor over your retinas so you're not really seeing the disdain all over my face.

If you wish to infuriate me, by all means begin a conversation like this "Stick to romance, darling." Um, why don't you just give me a good slap on the hind quarters while you're at it. Is my hair in a bob? Is this the year 1923? Is your name Mugsy St. Germaine? Because my name is not "darling." It's not even remotely close to such an invitingly stupid sobriquet.

If I look like an idiot and you feel the need to speak to me with condescension, why don't you just try being the bigger person and walk away? Risking sounding like the ultimate hater, it must be said that I don't particularly associate with people I think are stupid because they irritate me, and because even if I think they have little to offer intellectually, I don't want to be MEAN to them. Better to walk away and leave them with the dignity they have as a human being.

This is not to say that I cannot be won over, nor that I refuse to be. I don't resist on purpose because I don't have to. Most men dig their own graves much more quickly than I ever could. Be aware that even if you do manage to spark my undivided attention, the flame can be doused as surely as it was lit by giving off the impression you doubt my mental capacity.

The next time you think it's ok to speak to a woman like she's a piece of chocolate cake, be aware the frosting may be laced with arsenic. We only serve the real thing when presented with a proper guest.