The only thing you can change is yourself.

This may be the one life lesson that I actually nailed--- at least once-- in my life. It's the one I remember in most situations, even if sometimes I've remembered all too late. I tend to think most of the time that one one is paying attention to me, that I exist in some kind of vaccum void. Or perhaps, just like everyone does,--in a little "skull-sized kingdom" (I can't remember where I heard that phrase!) I have my own little skull-sized kingdom, and it's got a boisterous court of fools I like to call my thoughts. Maybe it's been a self-preservation thing to retreat into my little skull kingdom, but I know if I'm not careful I'll start relying too much on my perception of things and not paying attention to what's really going on. Though missing out on reality doesn't always seem like a bad thing, I think most of us would agree that staying out of the loop too long will only prolong our suffering. Reality is a place where we have to be with and rely on other people, and that is what makes it at once so abhorrent and so wonderful. We reject and hurt each other for no good reason but instead of changing ourselves, we build walls to protect ourselves from the sting of rejection, loss, and malcontent. We retreat into our skull-kingdoms where--HA--we can never be happy. I hope to learn better and break out of my own habit of retreat so that I don't just give my self more walls to tear down at some point. I don't really want to live behind them anyway.