Real-life Dearie ME!!!

When your top flies off at the beach in front of a rather jolly contingent of the U.S. Navy there is only time for one thing: Critical Thinking!!!!! And now, the necessary back story to this scenario:

I took an impromptu trip to Pensacola beach this weekend with two friends. Everything worked out beautifully as we scraped our way through the day: showers in the covered beach showers at the Hilton, bathroom breaks at Hampton Inn...We met a group of Navy guys while baking our bodies on Saturday afternoon. I had my eyes closed, but my friends spotted them as the past up the spot where we were, but make a U-turn about 30 seconds later and plop down next to us. All I remember was hearing "Dorian...Dorian!! Wake up, get up, get up, get up!" and suddenly there they were: I named them by their respective home states/cities: Alabama, Denver, Minnesota, Florida, and California. Jesse a.k.a Minnesota was the most charming out of the bunch...and he spent the majority of his time burying himself with sand, using the bud lights they had with them to wet the sand...
The water was very rough, but we would from time to time get the nerve to go and battle the waves for a while. We went out with the navy guys for a bit. I was getting blown around like a leaf in the waves, which was fine at first because Minnesota was holding my hand to steady me. THEN, we got hit by about 3 waves in a row during which time my bathing suit top flew over my head. DEEEEARIE ME!!!!!!!!!! When I resurfaced from the waves, I thought my top was completely gone...as in, it was lost in the ocean forever....right smack in the middle of about 6 guys. ONLY ME!!! I looked over at my friend and tried to think about what the best course of action was going to be. Somehow, I was going to have to make it back to the beach, topless, without exposing myself...Then I noticed that something around my neck. THANK GOD, what I thought was my hair was actually the strings to my top dangling around my neck. Minnesota saw my holding myself (ARRRRRRG) and grabbed me around the waist to steady me, as he told me to try to put the top back on...IT WAS BROKEN. (GREEEEAT!!!) I called my friend over to come and tie it, all the while Minnesota--a stranger--is holding me from behind making sure I don't roll away into the surf. The whole thing was so ridiculous, there was almost no point in being embarrassed, not to mention there was really no time. We did manage to get my suit tied together and made it out of the Yellow-flagged waves unscathed.